I’m a horribly jealous person. It probably originates from the fact that I’m a twin and therefore have always wanted what my sister has, no matter what it is. Because of my jealousy, I am almost incapable of feeling happy for other people. I honestly feel like one day, I will be so fully consumed by my envy that I’ll just break down. At this point, it is a physical ailment. I literally feel it inside of me, eating me up. Sometimes it’s a pang in my lower abdomen, but often it’s just a ball of energy bouncing around between my ribs. I wish I could be happy for my happy friends, but I just can’t. I’m sorry, but mostly if I act happy for someone it’s fake and I’m dying a little more inside.